Deacon Of Wounds – David Annandale

Published: 1 February 2021
Publisher: Black Library
Pages: 240
Series: Stand Alone/ Warhammer Horror
Format Read: Kindle

Blurp: (Taken from NG)

 

Spine-chilling Warhammer Horror novel set in the Warhammer 40,000 Universe…

The planet of Theotokos is dying of thirst. For years, Arch-Deacon Ambrose has done everything in his power to help the people. Charismatic, virtuous, pious, he is as beloved as the corrupt Cardinal Lorenz, who hoards the water reserves beneath the Ecclesiarchal Palace, is feared. When Lorenz dies, Ambrose’s moment has arrived. As good as his intentions are, he is also proud. He will be the saviour Theotokos needs, and bring the relief of water to the suffering. But there is something worse than drought to come. Lorenz’s death unleashes a terrible plague, soon to be known as the Grey Tears. As Ambrose struggles to save Theotokos from the Grey Tears, the unnatural nature of the plague becomes clearer and clearer, and he is driven to more and more extreme measures. He fears malign forces lurk behind the Grey Tears. The truth is worse than his most awful imaginings.

Thoughts:

There is a sound of feet dragging across the floor, a bone chilling moan, a scraping of fingernails reaching for the door, a haggard face enters the room to fall in front of a blinking cogitator screen, all is not well…

Uuuuuuugh! Bumped my toe as I sleep walked to the computer on my way to write this review. Have you ever thought to see Salty do a Warhammer review? Seeing as it is all Dave ever blabbers on about I thought I could take on one of these stand alones. Dave has had nothing but high praises so far for Black Library’s Horror entries. Woe is me, for picking up Deacon of Wounds. I re named it to Deacon of Snooze as the only chill down my spine was what I felt when waking up everytime I fell asleep on my arm due to the boredom of this novel. Seriously, there is only so much I can take when a book tries too hard to creep under my skin. Flies and worms? Really? Singing worms that go DEEE-deee, DEEE-deee, DEEE-deeee? That is not even a song! Man, I do not know, maybe it is just me, but that is just not what I consider horror. Yes Nurgle and his underlings are known to be rotting pieces of filth that are said to turn even the most sternest of stomachs, but this book was weak in the horror department for me. 

Characters were flat and the main guy behind the driving force was just an idiot. A nonce that took himself waaay too seriously while at the same time being an idiot as well as internal monologuing waaay too much. Even I, Salty McDave, a noob when it comes to Warhammer novels saw through the plot and that last reveal at the end. I have to admit the starting bits of this novel were quite good and drew me in quick, but then it just 360ed on me and I was wishing I could cry Grey Tears as I was just too tired to stay awake. Dave had to take a day of from his new job to buy me eye drops as my eyes were beyond pink after I stuck toothpicks in them just to keep them open so I could get through it. Yeah, Dave can actually be a nice person every so often, who would’ve known? 

Theotokos is a planet wracked by a plague that read a little way too close to what we are all experiencing at the moment considering the pandemic and for one religious fanatic to come in and cleanse it all with “purifying” fire just grated on me a little too much. I almost asked Dave to take my eyes and rinse them in vinegar while drying them of with a cheese grater. Some scenes were pretty neatly laid out, but the overall of the story was just “not my thing”, sorry to say. It sucks because I actually liked the simplistic cover for this novel. 

I am not going to bash around very much longer, I bet you all have better things to do than to hear about how much I suffered. I gave Deacon of Snooze a solid 2 out of 5 on GR. It was boring and could have been done way better, hel it could even have fallen out of the basket on it’s way to the printing press… Dave also reminded me to say thanks to Black Library and Net Galley, the fact that it was free clearly did not change or influence my views on this and kept it from getting a 1 out of 5…

Salty out.