Published: 1 February 2021
Publisher: Black Library
Pages: 240
Series: Stand Alone/ Warhammer Horror
Format Read: Kindle
Blurp: (Taken from NG)
Spine-chilling Warhammer Horror novel set in the Warhammer 40,000 Universe…
The planet of Theotokos is dying of thirst. For years, Arch-Deacon Ambrose has done everything in his power to help the people. Charismatic, virtuous, pious, he is as beloved as the corrupt Cardinal Lorenz, who hoards the water reserves beneath the Ecclesiarchal Palace, is feared. When Lorenz dies, Ambrose’s moment has arrived. As good as his intentions are, he is also proud. He will be the saviour Theotokos needs, and bring the relief of water to the suffering. But there is something worse than drought to come. Lorenz’s death unleashes a terrible plague, soon to be known as the Grey Tears. As Ambrose struggles to save Theotokos from the Grey Tears, the unnatural nature of the plague becomes clearer and clearer, and he is driven to more and more extreme measures. He fears malign forces lurk behind the Grey Tears. The truth is worse than his most awful imaginings.
Thoughts:
There is a sound of feet dragging across the floor, a bone chilling moan, a scraping of fingernails reaching for the door, a haggard face enters the room to fall in front of a blinking cogitator screen, all is not well…
Uuuuuuugh! Bumped my toe as I sleep walked to the computer on my way to write this review. Have you ever thought to see Salty do a Warhammer review? Seeing as it is all Dave ever blabbers on about I thought I could take on one of these stand alones. Dave has had nothing but high praises so far for Black Library’s Horror entries. Woe is me, for picking up Deacon of Wounds. I re named it to Deacon of Snooze as the only chill down my spine was what I felt when waking up everytime I fell asleep on my arm due to the boredom of this novel. Seriously, there is only so much I can take when a book tries too hard to creep under my skin. Flies and worms? Really? Singing worms that go DEEE-deee, DEEE-deee, DEEE-deeee? That is not even a song! Man, I do not know, maybe it is just me, but that is just not what I consider horror. Yes Nurgle and his underlings are known to be rotting pieces of filth that are said to turn even the most sternest of stomachs, but this book was weak in the horror department for me.
Characters were flat and the main guy behind the driving force was just an idiot. A nonce that took himself waaay too seriously while at the same time being an idiot as well as internal monologuing waaay too much. Even I, Salty McDave, a noob when it comes to Warhammer novels saw through the plot and that last reveal at the end. I have to admit the starting bits of this novel were quite good and drew me in quick, but then it just 360ed on me and I was wishing I could cry Grey Tears as I was just too tired to stay awake. Dave had to take a day of from his new job to buy me eye drops as my eyes were beyond pink after I stuck toothpicks in them just to keep them open so I could get through it. Yeah, Dave can actually be a nice person every so often, who would’ve known?
Theotokos is a planet wracked by a plague that read a little way too close to what we are all experiencing at the moment considering the pandemic and for one religious fanatic to come in and cleanse it all with “purifying” fire just grated on me a little too much. I almost asked Dave to take my eyes and rinse them in vinegar while drying them of with a cheese grater. Some scenes were pretty neatly laid out, but the overall of the story was just “not my thing”, sorry to say. It sucks because I actually liked the simplistic cover for this novel.
I am not going to bash around very much longer, I bet you all have better things to do than to hear about how much I suffered. I gave Deacon of Snooze a solid 2 out of 5 on GR. It was boring and could have been done way better, hel it could even have fallen out of the basket on it’s way to the printing press… Dave also reminded me to say thanks to Black Library and Net Galley, the fact that it was free clearly did not change or influence my views on this and kept it from getting a 1 out of 5…
Salty out.
Great review! It is a shame that it sounds so boring, it sounds like it has a really good premise and that it could have been worth a read. Singing worms?! 😄
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DEEE-deee,DEEE-deeee,DEEEE-deee is how it goes… Sing it with me? – Thanks for the compliment man- Salty
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I for one, welcome our new singing worm overlords! No problem my man, keep up the good work!
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Nurgle approves of this comment I just heard one of them say… Oh dear, I have been swayed…- Salty
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When I saw Salty I had to doublecheck that this was indeed a WH review.
That’s a bummer that it was so blase.
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Bummer indeed Stooge my boy. Dave was kind enough to unlock his Black Library cabinet for me and I managed to pick one of the worse ones in there I would’ve much rather let him have suffered through, oh imagine the joy to you and me that would’ve brought…. -Salty
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Whereas I probably wouldn’t like the book, Salty’s review is brilliant! 🙂
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Thank you for tha kind words John- Salty
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I’m so glad I didn’t bother requesting this.
Hey, Salty, have you tried the Cadia novels? I think you’d LOVE them.
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Cadai novels you say? I have a vague idea that Dave nearly burst a few arteries with some series a while ago. Too bad he already gave those novels away, now i cant see for myself😩. Yeah this was a dud for me personally. Thanks for stopping by mate- Salty
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You should buy them/get them from the library. You’re missing out …
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Ill speak to my handler, see if Dave can ask those books back maybe….
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DEEE-deee,DEEE-deeee,DEEEE-deee….
I think I rated this one averagely too. Not the best offering from WH horror.
Too much of the main character wading through custard, not enough rational thought.
Great review though.
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Thanks Jenn. Yeah there are better entries in the series if Dave’s other reviews are to be believed. Thanks for stopping by- Salty
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I got 44 Black Library ebooks, but that ain’t one, luckily! You took a bullet for the team, now we can stay away from this…
That was a very entertaining review, so at least we, your readers, have sth to be grateful for!
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Yeah mate there are going to be stinkers out there in th WH universe. Some one has to take one for the team… Salty
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Dee-dee-dee, that sounds like a Bee-Gees song! 🤣 Wow,Salty, you’re even allowed to respond to comments! Congrats man, seems like you’ve been promoted!
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Aah Ola my friend, dave has given me some extra privileges for a while now. Life is good🙂. You might have missed it in previous comments and reviews, but I always reply to My Fans🙂- Salty
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Hah! The last response to my comment to your review was made by that bugger Dave, I’m pretty sure! 🤣
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Mmmm, maybe i did not get the Filofax notification and Dave had to fill one in for me. Sorry Ola. Wont happen again Salty’s honour promise🤚
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I was thinking more they tried to copy the Jaws theme song, but it fell flat on its face… forgot to add that part in my previous reply- Salty
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